Difficulty sleeping ...

Last night I had a terrible sleep ... and I expect the same tonight. What happens is that every chemo cycle I end up with a couple of terrible night’s sleep and two extremely tired, sore and achy days. I have difficulty finding the words to clearly describe the symptoms I feel ... and saying I feel like I have flu-like symptoms just doesn’t cut it ... not even close. The days are more manageable but the nights are awful. I end up sleeping in my ‘day’ clothes because I’m too tired and to chilled to change into pajamas.

I can generally fall asleep but throughout the night, I seem or feel like I’m awake more than I’m asleep. It‘s like I’m in and out of consciousness ... but it is actually in and out of sleep. Everything aches and it’s one bad dream after another ... there is just no comfortable position. I tend to stop breathing and to breathe through my mouth because my nose is stuffed which just plain old screws up your sleep ... things like dry mouth, dry tong, snoring, etc. My body feels like it is full of poison. What does that feel like? ... well, there is a tingling throughout my body and when I close my eyes, I see these black dotes ... similar to when you are about to faint, I have sore and achy bones and muscles ... and of course all the little things like headache, upset stomach, twitchy and runny eyes and so on.

What causes this? .... the steroid, dexamethasone, prescribed to combat side effects of the chemotherapy. Each cycle, I use up the pills on Wednesday evening, so by Friday ... I’m feeling the withdrawal effects ... hence the terrible side effects.

I keep telling myself, it’s only a couple of days and nights ... it is awful ... I call it ‘evil’.