On Monday afternoon, a handful of our mets group gals got together for coffee. Our support group had officially ended last week and we decided to meet casually. There were four of us, which is about half of the group were there … which is still good. As we settled in with our coffee and tea, the conversation soon shifted to cancer.
We talked a bit about whether we were in denial or not, something we didn’t talk about at the clinic. We all agreed that’s a tough one to figure out. One gal said, I don’t know if I’m in denial or not. I still feel so good but when my Onc stands right in front of me and says that I have 6 to 18 months to live … 18 months if you take treatment and 6 if you don’t, that’s really hard to wrap your head around. And then another gal says, I’ve been thinking that this is my last Christmas for 11 years now. Wow .. how different things can be.
We then talked about how bad we felt about leaving our jobs so abruptly, leaving those behind to figure out who is going to do your work. I know I left my job the same day I found out how bad my cancer was.
We ended up talking about our plans for the holidays and that sometime in the New Year we’ll email around to meet again.
4 comments:
I am glad you were able to meet with your friends yesterday, I think living with the uncertainty of cancer can be a real challenge.
Hope you are warm inside today, it is storming so bad here at moment and a huge snow drift is blocking my front door.....:-)Hugs
Daria, What an amazing thing to have a support group like this where you can really open up to each other if you choose. I want to find some kind of group next year where you actually see people face to face. I like the woman's attitude who has been wondering about her last christmas for eleven years!
We live in a weird neither-here-nor-there world, don't we? I seem to be in a state of denial and of blunt realism at one and the same time; I know my condition is terminal, and I have no delusion about that, but I still am very much involved in the business of living, so I'm still concerned about my general health and my friends and whether the laundry gets done.
It's very odd and hard to describe to people who aren't in our position.
It's a great comfort, I think, to be able to talk about these realities with other people who are in the same spot... at least, you feel a bit less crazy and out of step when you know you aren't alone!
I don't know why some doctors insist on giving life expectancy prognoses. I wasn't expected to live a year -- nine years ago.
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