Well I must admit, yesterday I had to take a moment here and there and remember to just ‘breath’. That is what we’re taught to do when dealing with cancer and the roller coaster ride it takes you on. Just stop and take a few deep breaths. As much as you try and prepare for the worst news with these CT scans ... negative news stills hits you like a ton of bricks.
I woke up at 4:00 am trying to wrap my head around how I’m going to cope with the latest news. After about an hour or so, I fell asleep and woke up feeling a bit more in control. I figure I’m going to cope with this like I do most everything else ... I’m going to jump in both feet and do what I have to. I’ll decide on a course of treatment and deal with it.
I was so happy this morning that I had my support group meeting. There were other folks there with advanced cancer who offered me the hope and support I need right now.
11 comments:
Just breathe. Excellent reminder Daria. Hard to do when you feel like you've been hit with a ton of bricks...but you do it. One day at a time, one step at a time. That you had your support group to talk with today was something to look forward to -- gaining information and support from those who are dealing with life and advanced cancer. Your spirit is, as always, incredibly inspiring. ♥
I got some bad news myself today, following a CT and bone scan. I will be immediately going on a much more aggressive form of chemotherapry starting Tuesday.
So, if I say I understand what your saying here, believe me I do.
Best Wishes to us both.
SO SORRY you got bad news! I'm glad you have a support group to talk with.
Thanks for the honesty in your blog-you're an inspiration to me!
Sending thoughts and prayers your way!
Tina
daria;
I'll remember your advice when I have troubled waters ahead!
Just breath! Actually that's a old Faith Hill song!
Yes, I know Daria that you will jump in both feet and do what you have to.
But remember you are still allowed to 'rant 'n rave' about this if you need to do that.
daria, i'm stunned here. i read this post, then went back a few since i was out of town and I just don't know what to say. breathe - that's right. my biggest fear and you're living it.
my mom has gone through this and continues to go through it after sucessfully treating BC in 2003-03. she was diagnosed with lung cancer in the liver, lungs and nodes last fall (while I was starting chemo for BC).
they put her on experimental drugs called Sysplatin and Olympta. run those by your Doc to see if that's an option for you. We have seen miraculous results with all tumors resolved and no cell activity in the 1 cm remaining tumor.
My prayers and heart are with you. Be strong - YOU CAN DO THIS!!
XO,
Sharon
Daria
My heart goes out to you, its not easy. I am saddened. I think of you often, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Daria, it is so hard. Sooooo hard.
Well now you just keep fighting. When in hell, march straight through.
Love Renee xoxo
Yes, what Renee said.
xxx
I remember how hard it was for me back in April when there were ten weeks of starts and stops, ideas for treatments and surgeries that kept getting thrown out as further scans showed much more metestasized cancer till we got to 8 tumors. Finally they said no surgery (which broke my heart), but instead radiation and chemo. During the day I was calm and focused on the next step (even though the next step kept changing). And at night, in bed, I had more than a few nights giving in to the fear and anger and crying in my husband's arms in the dark; that seems to be the only time I could let go.
Maybe if someone had told me to BREATHE during the day, I wouldn't have been breaking down at night.
Daria, I have added you to my daily rosary novena; you get a whole decade of my rosary now.
Daria,
I am getting caught up on everyone's blogs. I am so sorry to hear the news.
Please know that even tho I don't read everyone's blogs each day, you and the other blogging sisters are in my thoughts and daily prayers . . .by name.
Sending you peace and love,
Renee
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