On The Up Swing

It was warm and muggy here yesterday ... so I went down to the basement and relaxed. Today I feel like a new woman likely because of the quiet time I spent downstairs and also because it is day nine of chemo. I'm definitely on the up swing.

I've even gone into the closet to try on some new clothes and yes they fit. I'm just not as swollen as I used to be ... my chemo belly is getting just a tiny bit smaller.

With regards to chemo nails, I want to thank everyone who left comments yesterday. Some people went and did some research and came back with information. I say, we get through this cancer stuff by helping each other. Thanks everyone ... I'll keep you posted on what works and what doesn't.

Today is a tad bit cooler and when on chemo ... cooler is better ... I'm finding that out pretty quick.

Hope everyone is doing O.K.

Chemo Nails

Taxotere has done a number on my nails. The nails have become darkened, yellow, brittle and ridges have formed. Some nails appear to be lifting off their bed.

I have three nails in total that are of concern to me. I'm afraid I'm going to catch an edge and ripe one of them off.

I'm also concerned about infection that may lead to lymphedema.

Does anyone know what is the proper care of chemo nails with long-term Taxotere treatment?

I'm Feelin' Pretty Good

Last night's class when well. Because I was doing a bit more coughing the last few days I decided to pull out my inhaler and give myself a zap. I've only used that thing a few times once before. Well that zap made me feel pretty good. It must have some steroids in it to give you a boost.

I had to stand in front of the class and give a 5 to 10 minute presentation. I just leaned on the lectern and all was fine. When I got home my coughing started again ... I think the coughing has a bit to do with environmental allergies ... we have so many trees around our home whereas downtown as none.

This morning, I was off to the Cancer Institute for dressing change on my PICC line. This is week two of the cycle and if I'm going to have trouble with it ... this is the week. I parked underground and made my trek to the daycare. It can be quite the distance so I take lots of rest stops. At one rest spot, a volunteer comes up to me and says ... did you need a wheel chair? I quickly replied, "Nope" ... as if what are you thinking ... "I'm fine, I'm just resting." "Oh, O.K. ... I won't make you succumb to a wheel chair if you don't want to."

She saw right through me. Secretly, just about every time I walk into the Cancer Institute and see those wheel chairs ... I want to jump right in ... well maybe not jump.

Anyways, I made it to daycare, had the PICC line redressed. Only a couple of slight red areas caused by irritation of the tube and stuff. I'll be watching it like a hawk for signs of redness, itchiness and/or burning.

It is an absolutely gorgeous day out there today. I wanted to stop at a park and just sit in my car but I was too tired. I ended up coming home, dropping my purse on the floor and dropping myself into bed.

After a two hour nap ... I'm feelin' pretty good.

Monday Monday

Well, I took an Ativan last night and sleep pretty good. I woke up still feeling a bit groggy from the medication ... and still do ... yawning lots.

Just had a shower and will put some clean clothes on. I'm canceling my support meeting at the Cancer Institute for today as I have class tonight. I don't have energy enough for both. Getting through class will be a challenge in itself ... but the good news is ... four classes left ... only two weeks.

On the bad weeks, I wonder why I torcher myself with these studies but on the good weeks ... I feel happy I'm doing something productive.

So how are my side effects ... well, my lips are swollen, nose is a bit stuffy, had one nose bleed, eyes are watering and I've been coughing more than usual. I think the coughing has to do with the warmer weather we have been getting. I'm also weak and a bit foggy upstairs.

On the bright side, the worst is over and each day will be that much better. I've got some outings later this week with friends that I'm really looking forward to.

Nightmares

One time I was given Tylenol 3 w/codeine for pain after surgery. I had the worst nightmares and I swore I would never again touch Tylenol 3 w/codeine ... and I haven't since.

Taxotere and the steroids mixed together create the same sort of effect for me. They cause extreme nervousness, frustration, agitation, resentment, anger and terrible sleeps which include nightmares. I wake up feeling like I've been hit by a truck. I wake up so angry I could scream.

It's sort of a snow ball effect ... if I stay calm, the effects are lesser and no nightmares but if something happens or I start thinking negatively, the anger only gets worse and so do the terrible sleeps. Sometimes it is down right horrid and last night's sleep was just that. One nightmare after another.

I keep reminding myself, it's the drugs and I just need to get through these few rotten days and try and stay as calm as I can.

In And Out Of Bed

Since my last post, I've spent most of my time in and out of bed ... just resting. I get up to eat and this feeling of needing to lay down comes upon me ... then blam, I'm sleeping. All and all that is a good thing.

My appetite is up a bit ... likely due to the steroids.

I think it's been three cycles with the lowered chemo dosage and milder side effects. To be honest, I wish I could say it was much better but it's not.

Again due to the fatigue and chemo, my thoughts are quite negative so I think we'll just end here.

Sleep Is Good

Last night I laid down right after supper and slept for almost three hours which left the night sleep a bit choppier but still worth it. This morning I laid down at about 10:00 am and slept for a couple more hours. I'm telling you that feels good.

The side effects of chemo and steroids are leaving me feeling yukky to say the least so posting will be brief. My focus will be on more sleep as required and keeping warm. I'm started to get the chills I normally get around this time of the cycle. Layers of fleece help with that.

The side effects of chemo and steroids are leaving me feeling yukky to say the least so posting will be brief.

One more thing I wanted to say ... I read a lot of cancer blogs and I know that others are going through similar and/or worse treatments than I am ... just wanted to say ... I'm thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

Fatigue Is Setting In

Last night's sleep was atrocious ... up till about 1:30 am and then slept till about 5:15 this morning. Yik! Those steroids really screw things up.

Today I'm going to head out and get a few chores done before the worst of the chemo side effects hit me this weekend.

Looks like some nice weather out there ... hopefully everyone is enjoying the same.

Tuesday's Oncologist Visit

Since I started chemo in August, I have had weight gain every time I have my 3 week visit with the oncologist. The weight gain is caused by the steroids I take and the weight gain has been anywhere from 1-3 lbs. per visit. So I've put on about 25 lbs. I hate it because my clothes don't fit and it only adds to the feeling of being tired and lethargic.

Well this past visit I had a weight loss of almost 4 lbs. I was tickled pink because I feel better for it. Why did I lose weight? Last cycle, I had a new symptom that I hadn't had yet ... I was mildly nauseated which caused me to eat less. I would open the fridge and the smell would turn me off.

My oncologist on the other hand was not impressed and said she did not want to see weight loss become a habit. And you know, I forgot to ask her why she is so concerned ... likely because I had the news about my CT scan and was preoccupied by that.

I on the other hand think I would do better with a bit less weight on me. I have a feeling my doctor knows what she is talking about and I should take her seriously but for now I would love to drop some of these extra pounds. I know it would be easier to move around and psychological I would see myself looking better which would give me a better quality of life. I'd be dressing better because my selection of clothing would increase.

O.K. did I convince you it's a good idea to loose a few more pounds? My oncologist has me feeling quiet guilty right now.

Any feedback out there?