Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Thanks For The Comments

I've been feeling so vulnerable that tears are ready to flow at any moment and for no reason at all. I think a lot of it has to do with my trying to push my recovery too quickly. I just get so frustrated with not being well enough to do the things I want to that it overwhelms me. Anyways, I think that is enough of that. I'm feeling better.

I just want to thank everyone who has left comments on my blogs ... especially the last few days ... they really do lift my spirits and give me a different point of view. I'm telling you, I don't know what I would do without the blogging and the on-line interaction with others. Everyone is so giving. I try and follow as many cancer blogs as I can and I hope I can encourage others as they encourage me.

I know that if you have cancer, you have good days and you have bad days. I look at it like ... if I can lift some one's spirits when they are feeling low then hopefully someone can lift my spirits when I'm down. Together, as cancer survivors and supporters, we will get through this.

Last night my husband and I were talking about how kids are texting more than ever and I was thinking why are they attracted to that means of communication and then it occurred to me that though I'm not a texter, I do blog which has it's similarities. Why is it easy to put my thoughts and feelings online instead of calling up a person and talking to them .... face to face?

My thoughts on this are ... I can say what I want to without having to have a person right there 'judging' me. I think that is the right word. I was the youngest of six children and really didn't have much room for an opinion because there were so many other people around who needed to get there's in first. I always felt short-changed. Now with the blogging, I write what I need to and it's up to others if they choose to read it .... but the important part is that I can get the words out with out being interrupted, corrected ... with out worrying I'm offending someone and so on.

In texting or blogging, there is no need to contribute and you contribute only if you choose to. It's like it takes a whole bunch of pressure off people to interact and for those who struggle socially, maybe this new way of interaction is a good thing. I suspect social interaction is a bit of a challenge for a whole bunch of people because texting has become really really big.

What do you think?


Unknown said...

I have a wide circle of friends and blogger is just one way i can keep up with them- besides which it allows me to see the wrold without leaving home..........
I only really use the computer for blogging and preparing classes......i dont have a mobile phone.........
and i found out a few years back that BLOGGING is the BEST form of therapy there is.......
and the cheapest too xxxxx

Carolyn R. Parsons said...

I just had this discussion with someone and I said I think there are negatives and positives to the communications technology out there...yes it can be abused but on the other hand it connects helps us be together and help and understand each other a little better. So like everything else it's how we use it, that makes the difference. We, humans, determine that.


Renee said...

Great post Daria.

You have so much to say to us all. I am listening.

Love Renee xoxo

Unknown said...

First off - huge hugs hon!!! I love your blog and find your spirit amazing!! I'm pulling for you!!
The blogging/texting thing. My hubby is clueless here. I run an inhome preschool, so am at home with a housefull of children all week... blogging has been a wonderful chance for me to interact with ADULTS! I have loved the opportunity to share who I am without being - you said it - judged. I can jump in when I can - I seldom have time for the phone with all the kiddos.
Love your blog hon, hang in there!!! Sarah

Anonymous said...

Daria, this was amazing! So open and honest! I love it! You know, you are so right. There is safety in saying those things that weigh heaviest on us if we cannot see the receivers face. I think there is a lot of freedom in that.

You ARE helping people Daria! I am certain there are people that you are unaware of who are looking to your blog for courage. And they are finding it. That is a huge gift you are providing.

Love and hugs to you

Jill said...

I am so happy that you are feeling better today Daria.
Blogging is such a great way to get our feelings out and to let the real you come out.When talking to people in person or on the phone I tend to not always say how I am really feeling...maybe because I don't want them to worry.In the blogging world we look after one another especially on the blogs dealing with cancer....why, because we understand what each one is going through and it helps all of us.
Yesterday I did a crappy post as I was having a bad day and then thought "why would anyone want to know about that".Here's a few feedbacks I got:
(1)I don't think you have moaned half enough for all that you have been through.
Crappy post, yes. Honest, yes. I'm glad you feel that you can share this stuff.
So yes Daria, blogging is good therapy!
Big but gentle hugs

Kerry said...

I believe blogging and any kind of writing through cancer is a positive thing.
There are so many stages that we deal with durning cancer. I've had my days where I am in tears and feel vulnerable and days were its so much of a struggle . I think being in treatment is tough because no one wants to feel that poorly. I remember those days. I still have them but adjust differently. Its good to read we are going through similar things it helps us cope on our own level.

I also find that some can't talk face to face about cancer. Those that have it are less judgemental and understand how hard it can be.
That's what makes..blogging great.

The other thing I was thinking reading this ..Is we teach others about what cancer is about and how to live with it..

I need the perspective as a survivor to.

Great Post

Sherry said...

Texting is easy for kids -- it's fast, it's "instant" and they can communicate quickly without verbal's less intrusive, especially if they are in class or somewhere that speaking on the phone would be "difficult".

Blogging is keeping a diary that others read and comment communicate thoughts and share ideas.

That's my take on both.

Tears of frustration? Oh yes. When we push and want things to be "here", "right now" and it isn't happening. Add the low immune system, the low everything from the heavy duty artillery and tears on the surface or flowing is so much part of this. Try and look at the tears as necessary -- a cleansing and a release and think how much good it does you to let all that toxin out so you can be refreshed ♥

Michelle said...

Anything that draws people together to be there for each other has to be a good thing. If I didn't have blogging right now I would be very isolated and miserable.

If my kids didnt have texting they would be too.

There are times when texting is inappropriate but hey, if it works...

My mum says that having cancer makes her feel like people think she is "unclean".....I think that is so sad. People just dont know what to do or say I guess.

Glad you are feeling a bit better.


Unknown said...

So glad you are blogging about topics that affect all of us cancer patients/survivors. It helps us all feel like we aren't the only one feeling down. And it's OK to be down, just keep moving up!

Teenagers at my house text...a lot. It is interesting, how we spent time on the phone, this generation texts.

I connect through blogging, FB, and Twitter. And I text with those teenagers. :)

Jaqi said...

I have made many wonderful blogging friends and continue to do so.
I am always amazed at just how small the world becomes once you start blogging and making new friends all over the world.
I too feel that texting and blogging is not so intrusive sometimes as calls, the other person can choose to answer at a time that is right for them. I like the idea of it making people who are far away seem much closer.
I have wonderful friends who have walked beside me through my life and I am very grateful. Jaqi

Kellys Blog said...

It takes a lot of energy some days to actually speak to people - you hear and feel their stress & worry..while it's amazing to feel how much they care, and that they love you, it's also a drain on our ever weakening reserves. Some days we just DO NOT HAVE that much to give, so the blog is a place to just put it out there, then shut 'er down and try and recoup. These last couple days.....UGH. "Cumulative effects" indeed. I've felt just plain LOUSY, can't get around it. Those are the times when ya just can't answer the phone every time it rings to reassure your love ones "I'M FINE! I'LL BE BETTER IN A FEW DAYS! NO WORRIES!" Let it go to voicemail, and take the time to do for yourself girlfriend. Some days that's just the best we can do.

Denise said...

You know, blogging has changed my life and given me so many wonderful friends..... I do not know if you know this about me, but I take care of my 89 year old mother and 91 year old father. I am out here in the country 24/7. If I go out I only leave for a hour or two or else I have to get someone to come out here.. The live just about 50 feet from my home....... If it were not for the blogging I would be so lonely..... It takes me away for short periods of time and I so need that....... (I hate texting) Let the younger generation do that!

nollyposh said...

Yep illness can be a real leveler and bloggy world a real blessing x

My Journey to Hope said...

You're right about blogging/texting. Sometimes it's easier to be vulnerable without people standing right in front of you. It's great that you can connect with people online, especially for encouragement- from you and for you. We ALL have ups and downs and need a virtual hug from time to time.

:) Michelle

Jill said...

Just look at how many comments you get regularly Daria. You're obviously communicating to a lot of people, and I bet there's lots more who read but don't comment.
I think blogging gives us a release. For me anyway it gives me a place where it's ok to have cancer and admit that I'm fighting it, without having to reassure my friends and family and address their worries and fears. And reading other blogs shows me that we're all experiencing the same ups and downs. I can have connection to others at a time of my choosing when I feel strong enough to cope, and there is nothing expected of me as a reader. I don't need to give sympathy and energy, and even if I want to it's not in quite the same way as I would if we were face to face, so it's less tiring. It's also nice to connect on days when you can't or won't leave the house. As a blogger I feel I can say what I want and if someone doesn't like it they don't need to continue reading or visiting.
I love your blog Daria. Long may you continue. You blog from the heart and I respect you greatly for that and feel a connection from all the way over here in England.
If you do cry think of all those toxins leaving your body. Crying's a great release - just a pity about the headache and red bulbous nose afterwards !!
Jill B