What I want people to know is that being told you have cancer; shakes you to the core. It’s such a kick in the teeth emotionally. It’s the wake-up call no one wants …. You are going to die and probably sooner than you’d hoped. No longer could I take life for granted.
So how else did this affect me? … well, it forced me to reflect on who I am and what I have been doing with my life. I ended up spending a lot of time looking back through the years, how I came to be where I am now. I felt proud and happy of my accomplishments, disappointed and sad at some poor choices and decisions. And … I grieve for the future that won’t be.
A few things I know for sure … the future I do have is all of a sudden a bit clearer. I know what I want to do. I still have a few things I want to accomplish and I especially know I want to live the rest of my life as calm and stress free as possible. I figure that much of the drama in life can be avoided and avoid it I do. I do it by downsizing and simplifying my life, by spending time with people who support my healing and by being more kind to myself. I just put more trust in myself and started following my heart. Wow what a concept!
Cancer is a life altering experience that forced me to question everything in my life. After nearly two years, I think I’ve regained some of the power I had given away to the universe. I have become more trusting of myself and for those reasons I think I am a stronger person.