Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Feeling Overwhelmed

Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed ... almost panicky. Emotionally, still feeling very fragile. I looked at my schedule for the week and realized I had something happening everyday of the week .. starting today through to Thursday. I decided it was too much and I needed to do something about it. I am canceling my cognitive group for today, I canceled my breast cancer support coffee group meeting on Wednesday and a possible luncheon date for later in the week.

I just need time to relax ... mentally that is. It's funny how all of a sudden things get to be too much.

I know we have Easter this weekend and everyone is so excited but for me it's almost like I would rather we just pass by it. Too much excitement and cancer treatment just don't mix.

Thursday I see my psychologist and will be talking to her about handling these feelings. What should I do when I'm feeling overwhelmed? What do I tell people without offending them that large gatherings and too much excitement are too much for me?

I think some people think that a good dose of positiveness and enthusiastic can cure anything ... but that is not the case. It can be too much for a weak person to handle.

Anyways, I'll see what the therapist says and I'll pass that on to you.


Carolyn R. Parsons said...

I find positivity comes best in silence and self reflection. And I'm pretty extroverted but I still need to recharge that way, particularly during emotional times. So just tell them that. If they don't understand that's on them. Your only responsibility is to you.


Renee said...

Daria you are not a weak person. Yes you are an ill person going though a horrendous chemo treatment.

I think you should just be completely honest. Don't worry about offending people.

If you can make it to Easter that might be good, to get out and outside of yourself, but if you can't, than don't.

You are going to make it honey.

Love Renee xoxo

Unknown said...

I'm with Renee hon!!! You have good reason to be feeling overwhelmed!!! You have alot going on inside of you, both physically and mentally - give "you" a break. Don't worry about others attitudes - you need to care for you right now. Huge hugs, Sarah

Arlene said...

Good for you for listening to your body telling you that you might need to pull back and recharge for a while. And thanks again for letting us know that this is how you are feeling.

Our friends and family sometimes think that being all positive and enthusiastic is what we need but sometimes we just need to let ourselves be what we are at that moment so that we can regain our strength. And we need to let others know that.

Michelle said...

Sometimes we just need to sit back and let ourselves recharge.

Just do what you need to Daria, you are allowed. Life can be pretty relentless can't it.

Lucky for us, there are pockets of peace.

Love to you


Anonymous said...

Ha ha...I KNOW your psychologist! I KNOW what she will tell you! Ha ha! Too funny.

I think that it is great that you are taking time to refuel. Your body has been through A LOT! Time for a rest. And that is okay!

We missed you this morning - people send best wishes your way.

Michelle said...

Hi Daria ~ I think you need to do whatever it is you need to for yourself...and don't feel bad about that. It's really OK! I'm sure everyone will understand.

I know in my own experience the holidays were hard on me - I was in pain and just didn't want to deal with everything that comes with the large extended family gatherings. My husband's family just don't know what to say half the time and it's difficult emotionally 'cause they make me feel like a freak, if that makes any sense...

Hang in there, Daria, and you just take that time to relax :)


Cheryl said...

Evening Daria
My heart goes out to you as you struggle with treatment and your desire not to offend.. How wise you are to take a step back.
Take a deep breath and let your body recover from all that you are going through. Sure your true friends will understand.
Thinking of you

Carolyn R. Parsons said...

Thank you for visiting Daria. How are you feeling today?

You said:

Beautiful ... the first thing I think of is breast cancer survivors and how they could be affected by this poem.

Do you intend to or have you ever published any of your work?

The writing on my blog is entirely a gift. Print that poem and pass it on to whoever you think needs to read it with my permission.

I have a novel in the works, I've self-published a short story and some poems and I have two self help books as well in process...I also have 4 children so it's slow going but yes, my intent is to publish.

I enjoy your visits. Keep coming back. You inspire me way more than you know!


Unknown said...

honey, i am exactly the same- when i am booked solid i often reschedule things to the follwing week or give things a miss- i cant stand to be pushed like that.
Be kind to you daria- you know and we know that this will pass xxx

nollyposh said...

i know thAt feeling... i just called it my cocoon times and that was that! You are entitled to time out and i agree sometimes it's the talking and the smiling and the trying to keep up with conversation that is more exhausting than the physical stuff... You are having 'normal' feelings i should think... i had them too and still do some days x

Alli said...

One of the things I have learned in reading the blogs is you don't have to be a "superwoman" Be you, be your own hero... rest relax and repose...
the rest put to the side and concentrate on you..

~ Alli.xx

Jill said...

I think people try to be positive and want you to be positive and enthusiastically so because they are powerless and can't think of anything else to offer. And sometimes they can be frightened and use it as a way to push the problem under the carpet and away from themselves. I know from personal experience how frustrating that can be ! It also takes LOTS of energy to be positive and if you're lacking in that department then don't waste it, for goodness sake. You're right to pull back and just concentrate on you and getting better. Well done for recognising your needs and acting on them. You take care of yourself so that the chemo you're taking can do its job. That will be what everyone near to you wants too.

Jill B.

SweetAnnee said...

I did the things I needed to , like meds, doctors, tests..
but the rest..oh honey..slow it down. My hubby
even did the shopping.

You are ill, and chemo is a poison..remember that and take it easy..

Have happy Easter
He Is Risen

love to you, Deena