It wasn’t long before the door knock came and in walked my Onc. He asked me how I was feeling … do I have pain of any kind, how is the Xeloda treating me? I’m thinking to myself … enough of the small talk, give me the news.
This is sort of how it went …
There are new growths on the liver …. blah blah blah … Xeloda no longer working …. blah blah blah … options are limited …. blah blah blah … chemo …. blah blah blah …. study drug …. blah blah blah.
I’m in shock as he left the room and in comes the research nurse. I ask her to repeat some of what the Onc said …. Seriously, I only heard a few words here and there.
So in short … my options are Vinorelbine by IV or a study drug TK1258 by pill. I’m hoping I qualify for the study drug because it’s a pill and will give me better quality of life.
Well … I’m going to Philadelphia and will deal with all this later.
21 comments:
Oh hon....I am so very sorry. What can I say I am speechless. I am sending love and Reiki your way hon!
Great big gentle hugs, Sarah
Oh no. I will be praying for you, shakin them bones and doing the Fuck Cancer Dance for you. Hang in there, Daria. Go take a soul vacation.
Philly plan sounds great. Every time I got bad/scary news, no matter how intent I was on focusing, there was not much focus or retention. Always felt like two conversations were in order. One to receive (and forget) the information, another to re-receive with pre-prepared questions.
I am so, so sorry Sweetie!!! But try to put this out of your mind and enjoy Phillie!!
Daria....biggest hugs from me! We need you - so kick that frickin' cancers ass, would you?
Have a wonderful trip. I can't wait to hear all about it when you get back.
Love and hugs,
xoxoxo
Bless you Daria. Stay strong and remember there is always hope. You are, as always, in my thoughts and prayers xxx
News like this is quite the bummer. But what about another opinion and see what someone else thinks? Another set of eyes doesn't hurt.
Don't let the negative news get you down Daria...doctors always seem to focus on the bad and never on any good news...maybe some of your tumors have decreased in size. Go to Philly and enjoy every minute of it...if my husband had to listen to his onc's bad news everytime, he would have given up long ago. We just passed his 4th anniversary after his onc gave him only 3 mos to live...go figure!
A positive attitude and strong determination like you have is key...
Have a wonderful weekend!!!
Debbie
Ay yi yi! I'd like to say something helpful but all I can say is Cancer sucks! Philly does not. Based on that, I think that you've made the right choice. Go to Philly and enjoy yourself.
Have a great time in Philadelphia!! I am so sorry to hear about the cancer...
Dang! Sorry to hear this news. Whichever drug they give you, I pray it works and with minimal side-effects. Dang!
Stay as positive as you can. You're still in my prayers, as always.
I'll be anxiously awaiting an update. Enjoy PA.
Sorry to hear the news Daria! Must be the week for bad news... Enjoy Philly--I hope you come back with new inspiration to share with all of us!
Daria - what a journey we are all on! i HATE this disease...Renee is having more problems too...wish i could give you a big hug in person...love you...
I am just at the beginning of my journey (2 years in now but no end in sight) and I know that feeling you're describing. Like all of your senses warp in one second. I am sorry you are going through this. If only there was another way, right?!!
Oh, I'm sorry. Whatever drug you end up with, I do hope it's effective.
Sending you lots of good thoughts!
Daria you are in my thoughts and prayers. You just enjoy yourself in Philly let the rest wait till you get home.
Love Alli xx
dancing here for you, my friend--hugs
I didn’t read this post before the conference, so I had no idea that you had this news before you left. Yet, there you were, smiling and talking up a storm to everyone you met! Daria, you were a shining light in the sea of women at the conference. I’ll keep my fingers (and toes) crossed that you qualify for the study.
Funny but ‘blah blah blah’ was what my onc said too yesterday when he called to tell me they found some spots on my bones. I think ‘blah blah blah’ must be a medical term that is used often in oncology because that’s what many of us hear when we get news that we don’t want to hear. Maybe they teach it in medical school. :-)
Hugs...
Daria, I've just gone back over the last few of your blogs and came across the new comment from Christine about you being a shining light in the sea of women at the conference. And, this in spite of the news that you had just received before you left. Her comment is just what I would expect. I can just see you there, reaching out to everyone else, making others feel comfortable, just being 'Daria'.
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