CT Scan Today

I go back to the clinic today for my CT scan. I won’t get the results until my next oncologist visit in about three weeks. I’m not anxious enough to go and get them earlier.

On my last visit with the oncologist on Monday, I asked about H1N1 shots once again. This time she had some information. This year for the first time, the clinic will be offering free shots to the cancer patients.

Her first statement to me was that H1N1 could kill me. I was a bit shocked at what she said ... like I thought; did she really just say that to me? It was a bit of a reality check.

We then discussed the H1N1 shot. How the shot works ... a person needs 10 days for the vaccine to become effective. In my particular situation, because I’m on chemo, I can only get the shot after my blood work shows I’ve recovered from the last chemo treatment.

The big issue is that there isn’t 10 days between the blood work and the next chemo treatment. I get the blood work one day and chemo the next. If I get the shot and chemo the next day, the H1N1 vaccination is destroyed in my body by the chemo. It would not have time to immunize me properly and therefore making the vaccination ineffective.

My doctor does not recommend I delay chemo for the H1N1 flu shot because of the risk of my cancer growing. I was on the fence about getting the H1N1 shot and leaning to not getting it … so I guess that solves my problem … no flu shots for me.

Chemo Today

I just got back from my chemo treatment and to be honest I feel pretty good ... just a bit weaker. Things went really well. I was in a room with two other beds. One person slept through his treatment but the lady next door and I chatted a bit. She was diagnosed at the age of 49 with leukemia. That was 30 years ago. She seemed pretty spunky as she was in Vegas just a couple of months ago. More recently she has needed regular blood transfusions which is why she was there today.

Instead of watching movies on my portable DVD player, I read magazines given to me by some friends. After I was done with them, I left them at the clinic for someone else to enjoy.

Well I still have some reading to do for my class tonight so I best get after it. I had far too much fun reading my gossip mags instead of my school stuff.

Blood Work/Oncologist Visit

My blood work looks good so I am good to go for chemo tomorrow. My weight is down a bit ... I’m at 70.6 kilos (155 lbs). I think I’m down about four lbs from last time. I notice that my weight varies quite a bit though. The oncologist asked if I was trying to lose weight or it was just happening. I said I am trying a bit because I want to feel better and I’d sure like to get into a few more of my clothes.

I mentioned to the doctor that my lower back and legs feel weaker but over all my other symptoms seem to be improving ever so slowly. Tomorrow will be my 20th Taxotere treatment. My doctor said that is really good. If the Taxotere symptoms i.e. the fatigue gets to be too much for me, our plan would be to stop the Taxotere completely as I am at the minimum effective amount already.

When I started chemo in August 2008 I also signed up for a study. It’s a double blind study with 2/3 of the participants getting the study drug and 1/3 not getting it. Because I have many of its symptoms, I feel I am getting the drug.

So back to my chemo regime ... if we decide to stop the Taxotere, I could potentially continue on with the study drug only or maybe try some anti-estrogen therapy as my cancer is estrogen-receptor-positive or we could try some other treatment (chemotherapy or study drugs). I guess the message here is that there are options and when we have to we will decide what is best for me.

I think the oncologist and nurses are quite impressed with my overall condition, especially with me taking an evening course at the college.

I’ll let you in on a secret ... for two weeks of the three week cycle, I’m thinking to myself, alright I cannot do this any longer, the next time I see the oncologist, I’m going to ask to have my chemo cut back ... but then I have a few good days just before my next treatment and my attitude shifts to one where ... OK I can do one more cycle and then we’ll cut it back.

A Day Of Fun And Gifts

Yesterday was a quiet day. My mother and sister dropped by and brought some breakfast over. Very nice!! They had called prior to coming and asked if we wanted to go out but we had still been sleeping so we said no thanks. These days it takes me a good half hour and a strong coffee to shake the morning fog out of my head so that I can get moving. My mother had also brought over three different hats that I can wear. They will definitely come in handy with the cooler weather coming.

Later on, we went to visit our friends B and D. We had a nice visit looking at their wedding pictures from 1979. Everyone looked so young in the pictures ... where did the time go? We ended up spending the evening reminiscing, talking and snacking. It was very relaxing and enjoyable. And I walked out with a few Avon treasures ... how fun is that ... thanks D.

At about 11:00 pm, we’d been visiting for about 4 hours when my energy level hit the wall. I needed to go home or ... I said I’d be sleeping on their couch that night. I was fading fast so we headed home.

Today we’re off for lunch to my sister A’s and her husband’s place. We’re really looking forward to that. It’s been a while since we’ve seen them.

This week I spent a lot of time out and about visiting ... and it felt really good.

Next week is chemo and well, I don’t need to say much more than that.

How Fatigue Affects Me

I’ve often said that I have no strength in my legs for standing or walking. Well, today I wanted to share a few of the other ways constant fatigue shows itself in my every day activities.

Household chores such as washing floors, folding laundry, cooking, scrubbing pans, etc have become more than difficult. I have to constantly sit and rest while doing anything at all and to be honest ... I don’t do much house work anymore. Anything that requires physical effort just isn’t fun in the least.

Eating certain foods is difficult if not impossible. My jaw seems have no strength to bite down on some foods. For example; I have difficulty eating apples, fresh vegetables/salads ... raw carrots are out of the question. Sandwiches such as bacon and tomato or turkey or any type where the food is tough or chewy are difficult for me to bite through. So I usually avoid them.

Things like wraps are great for me because the food is already all chopped up. Last Wednesday when I went out for supper, I ordered Shepherd’s Pie which is ground beef with mashed potatoes. It was very easy to eat but I did experience something unusual for the first time. I had difficulty lifting the fork up to my mouth. Not sure if the outdoor table setup was an odd height or because it was an extra warm evening ... but my hand actually started shaking as I brought the fork to my mouth. I was so weak in my arms that evening.

Driving has become a bit of a challenge. Some days it feels like my car has standard steering instead of power. It actually takes effort to turn the steering wheel to turn a corner.

Brushing my teeth had become a real chore. But thankfully, my dentist gave me an electric toothbrush which cuts the effort by at least half. I now sit on the edge of the tub and let the toothbrush do all the work.

Applying make-up is no longer pleasurable. It requires too much effort so I don’t.

I can hardly believe I’m so weak.

At The Mall

Yesterday we stopped at the mall for coffee and a cinnamon bun. Good stuff!

Whenever I go out now, I’ve been wearing a hat instead of my wig. It feels so much more comfortable. People don’t really stare but I do think they look at me a split second longer at first. I’m kind of thinking to myself ... what took me so long?

We then headed to Sears to look at dishwashers and treadmills. I brought my Zuca bag along so whenever I got tired; I could just sit down on it. Like when the salesman was giving us the dishwasher spiel, I sat down at this dishwasher and then moved to another as he was talking. Easy breezy.

Out For Lunch, Out For Supper

Being my good week, I try and book up visits with friends. Yesterday afternoon was our regular Breast Cancer support group coffee get-together. There were only a couple of us as two ladies where suffering from the flu and others were busy with other appointments and stuff. So S and I had a nice chat one on one.

I came home for a couple of hours and then headed off for supper to “Vi’s For Pies” with some fellow co-workers from a previous job. We sat outside on the patio because the temperature was still close to 30C (86F). It was a bit warm for me at first but after drinking a couple of glasses of cold water and iced tea ... I cooled myself down a bit. There was a water fountain not far away and trees and flowers decorating the patio that added to the atmosphere. It was nice to catch up on all the news and especially to talk about something else other than cancer. I wasn’t sure I would be able to make conversation but with all the surfing and television I watch, I had no trouble at all.

When I came home, I mentioned to D that I had a lot to eat that day and I was happy about that. It had been a very good day.

Handrails Are Too Skinny

Yesterday I went to the clinic for my weekly PICC line dressing change. The chemo room was busy as ever and the nurse said, “Could you come back in about 10 minutes and take your time?” I said, “No problem, I need to go downstairs to physiotherapy anyway.” I needed to return the borrowed lymphedema sleeve as I had purchased my own a week ago.

On my way back, I was getting a bit tired and decided to use the handrailing that was mounted on the wall. Well as I slide my hand along the railing ... wack ... my fingers hit the mounting brackets. The handrails are too skinny and my fingers hit the brackets. Normally, this would be no big deal but this was one of my chemo fingers where the nail bed is lifting. Ouch!! It’s a bit sore today ... thank goodness it didn’t rip off.

So to all you handrail engineer reading this blog ... handrails must be fat like on escalators and not skinny ... otherwise, you wack your fingers on the brackets when you slide your hand along the railing.

There I feel better.

Ice Berg Feet

After sitting here with my coffee for a while, I decided to get dressed and put socks on, my feet are so cold right now. Chemo has given a whole new meaning to cold feet. D can attest to that ... they are definitely ice bergs.

That’s it for now ...