Today I was at the Cross Cross Institute at the Mind Your Memory course or session. The course is to help understand and cope with what we call 'chemo brain'. Chemo brain is used to describe forgetfulness, absentmindedness, and inability to focus when performing daily tasks. Simple things like forgetting common words, remembering simple details like where you parked, trouble concentrating like having to read pages of a book over and over again, and so on. It seems to be worst with short-term memory.
So the question is ... do you have to have chemotherapy to have chemo brain?
The facilitators said it is difficult to say because there are so many causes of these symptoms ... such as .... fatigue, depression, grief, pain, stress, anxiety, worrying, medication, hormonal changes, and so on.
They offered some coping strategies that can help make this easier to deal with ... like making lists, use a journal or organizer, etc. The nutritionist stressed that proper diet helps with improving brain function and exercise helps with fatigue.
For myself, my short-term memory is terrible, I have to write everything down or it is gone. However, I am taking a college course and did really well on the mid-term exam and have no trouble doing the weekly assignments. So even though you feel like you cannot remember anything at all, you can. Granted, I am not working and have a lot of time to spend on it.
My motivation came from a story where after being diagnosed with cancer and getting chemo, a lady in here 30's when back to school and became a doctor. I figured if she could become a doctor, I should be able to take some college courses.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Just got up from a snooze ...
What a difference a nap makes ...
This week I've napped for about an hour each afternoon. I sure have enjoyed it but it kind of interferes with the night's sleep. I end up dreaming and wake up not well rested.
This morning I had my CT scan at the Cross. They make you drink this fluid that I say .... lights you up from the inside out. I think it's like 8 cups of liquid, you have to drink, in 45 minutes. Yuk! The waiting rooms were busy as ever. One lady said to me ... you have to drink all that? 5 minutes later, she was given the same amount. We laughed about it. One other guy said ... if it was beer, he would have no trouble drinking it. It is nice that we can joke about it.
This week I've napped for about an hour each afternoon. I sure have enjoyed it but it kind of interferes with the night's sleep. I end up dreaming and wake up not well rested.
This morning I had my CT scan at the Cross. They make you drink this fluid that I say .... lights you up from the inside out. I think it's like 8 cups of liquid, you have to drink, in 45 minutes. Yuk! The waiting rooms were busy as ever. One lady said to me ... you have to drink all that? 5 minutes later, she was given the same amount. We laughed about it. One other guy said ... if it was beer, he would have no trouble drinking it. It is nice that we can joke about it.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Flushing the Central Line (CVC)
Once a week the CVC I have needs to be flushed with Heparin. Thou I was trained to do this, I have my sister who is an nurse ... take care of this for me. I have a prescription for the dressing, needles, heparin, syringes, medical tape, etc .... that I get from the pharmacy. Besides, the flushing, maintenance on the CVC is quite simple and I've really gotten used to it.
I get this flushed after chemo and chemo is usually on a Tuesday or Wednesday (3-week rotation). That is why today is flush day.
This afternoon, I'm at the Cross Cancer for the last of the Poetry Support Group meeting. I will miss the group meetings.
Tonight I'm having supper with a breast cancer survivor that went through treatment the same time I did back in 2000. She is cancer free and doing real well. We have kept contact by having suppers together every few months.
Tomorrow, I have a CT scan to see how the tumors are doing. I've had one scan since my chemo started in August and the tumors have shrunk a bit. I'm hoping for the same results with this scan. Below I've included a bit of a discription of a CT scan ... given to me by the Cross Cancer.
How is a Computed Tomogram (CT) scan done?
You lie on a padded table which slides into the opening of the CT machine. The technologies will ask you to hold your breath during scans to avoid blurring the images. You may hear a noise during each scan while the x-ray machine is taking your pictures.
The average CT scan takes about 20 minutes, however, preparation time can vary from 30 minutes to 1 hour before the actual scan.
Prior to the scan, the radiologist may request your consent for an injection of a colourless contrast medium (x-ray dye) to show up certain parts of your body.
I get this flushed after chemo and chemo is usually on a Tuesday or Wednesday (3-week rotation). That is why today is flush day.
This afternoon, I'm at the Cross Cancer for the last of the Poetry Support Group meeting. I will miss the group meetings.
Tonight I'm having supper with a breast cancer survivor that went through treatment the same time I did back in 2000. She is cancer free and doing real well. We have kept contact by having suppers together every few months.
Tomorrow, I have a CT scan to see how the tumors are doing. I've had one scan since my chemo started in August and the tumors have shrunk a bit. I'm hoping for the same results with this scan. Below I've included a bit of a discription of a CT scan ... given to me by the Cross Cancer.
How is a Computed Tomogram (CT) scan done?
You lie on a padded table which slides into the opening of the CT machine. The technologies will ask you to hold your breath during scans to avoid blurring the images. You may hear a noise during each scan while the x-ray machine is taking your pictures.
The average CT scan takes about 20 minutes, however, preparation time can vary from 30 minutes to 1 hour before the actual scan.
Prior to the scan, the radiologist may request your consent for an injection of a colourless contrast medium (x-ray dye) to show up certain parts of your body.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
99 Balloons
If anyone watched Oprah today, you would have seen this video off you-tube .... 99 Balloons. It is worth watching.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Mind your memory and energize
Today I registered for a couple of classes or courses at the Cross Cancer. One is called Mind Your Memory and the other is Energize.
Mind Your Memory offers information on how cancer and cancer treatments may affect memory, proper nutrition for good memory and how to maximize memory.
Energize offers information on cancer-related fatigue, proper nutrition and the importance of exercise in helping to manage fatigue.
The memory is terrible after a cancer diagnosis. My thoughts are that it is the stress of the information that causes the poor memory. I used to blame it on chemo but my opinion has changed. I still enjoy blaming it on the chemo because it is an easy out ... 'chemo brain'.
The fatigue is caused by the chemo. It just takes the energy out of your body, your thoughts, and your enthusiasm. I just don't really want to do much .... especially the second week after a treatment. I've mentioned it before, that is when the fatigue is the worst.
Mind Your Memory offers information on how cancer and cancer treatments may affect memory, proper nutrition for good memory and how to maximize memory.
Energize offers information on cancer-related fatigue, proper nutrition and the importance of exercise in helping to manage fatigue.
The memory is terrible after a cancer diagnosis. My thoughts are that it is the stress of the information that causes the poor memory. I used to blame it on chemo but my opinion has changed. I still enjoy blaming it on the chemo because it is an easy out ... 'chemo brain'.
The fatigue is caused by the chemo. It just takes the energy out of your body, your thoughts, and your enthusiasm. I just don't really want to do much .... especially the second week after a treatment. I've mentioned it before, that is when the fatigue is the worst.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Nail changes during chemo
One of the side effects to chemo is that the finger nails and toe nails lift, discolor and/or fall off. The website breastcancer.org offers a great description of what happens.
My experience so far has been a bit of discoloration, some ridges have formed and a slight lifting on one of my fingers. I do find they are brittle and so I keep them trimmed real short.
I guess my only concern is to keep them real clean so bacteria doesn't grow where they are lifting. This will be something I'll ask the oncologist at the next visit.
My experience so far has been a bit of discoloration, some ridges have formed and a slight lifting on one of my fingers. I do find they are brittle and so I keep them trimmed real short.
I guess my only concern is to keep them real clean so bacteria doesn't grow where they are lifting. This will be something I'll ask the oncologist at the next visit.
Canadian Cancer Society Peer Support
Last week I was struggling mentally and felt I needed a bit more support. The Canadian Cancer Society Peer Support is something I had considered for quite some time. When I contacted them I was sure what I needed help with but I knew that just talking to someone going through the same thing I was going through would make me feel better. Just yesterday I spoke with a lady who was born in the late 1970's and was diagnosed in 2005(???) with metastatic breast cancer with cancer in her bones and liver. Obviously she is quite young. She has had periods (months) of chemo and periods (months) of no chemo. Her spirits are high. We chatted about some of the side effects of long-term chemo ... and how she kept a positive attitude. I felt like I wasn't the only one going through this. She said she'd make contact with me on a regular basis.
My hopes is to become a peer support person someday .... once I get a bit stronger mentally. I know how lonely it can be ... because unless you talk with someone who has gone through this, it just doesn't work.
My hopes is to become a peer support person someday .... once I get a bit stronger mentally. I know how lonely it can be ... because unless you talk with someone who has gone through this, it just doesn't work.
This word .... hope
I haven't added much to the blog for a week or so because I've been feeling a bit down and out. The effects of the chemo drugs puts me into some mood swings that challenge me. The second week after a chemo treatment is when I start thinking about my illness .... the seriousness of my illness ... death and dying. Coming off the drugs puts you in a negative mood that lasts a few days. I know it comes and goes and I just need to work through it.
Prior to this treatment, the research nurse asked me to fill out a questionnaire which included questions about my quality of life, treatment, etc. One of the questions that really stuck with me was whether I and/or my family have accepted my illness. I answered the questions with a 3 out of 5 on each but I wasn't really sure. For starters ... do I accept the fact that I may die at any time? I had a scheduled visit with my psychologist at the Cross Cancer and discussed this with her. I asked her, how do I make sure I am aware of the fact that I may die any time? She said something like, you are on a journey and how get to the end is up to you. Some people believe that they can beat this disease. They believe it till the minute they die ... it is called 'hope'. Statistics show that the odds are against us but if we choose to deny the facts and live full of hope, that is O.K. too because as long as we have a good quality of life during the journey, what does it really matter. Wow that was a light bulb moment.
We then discussed how when you tell someone you have stage 4 cancer that is not curable and they refuse to accept it ... how does one deal with that. Well she said that you can't make someone accept something they don't want to. There is no use beating your head against the wall trying to convince them because it won't happen. She said to let them think what they like and just know that they are not a source of support to you. She all took some of the pressure off my by saying, not everyone needs to know everything. It is O.K. to just say ... I'm doing fine.
I thoroughly enjoy visiting the psychologist because even thought I have no idea what we are going to talk about, I always end up coming out feeling better.
I spent a lot of the week thinking about dieing. It has been 8 years since I was first diagnosed and I have already spent a lot of time thinking about dieing but as this disease ... cancer .... brings you closer and closer to death, I seem to spend more and more time thinking about it.
Today is Sunday and I plan on spending time working on the course I take. It motivates me to focus on the future.
Prior to this treatment, the research nurse asked me to fill out a questionnaire which included questions about my quality of life, treatment, etc. One of the questions that really stuck with me was whether I and/or my family have accepted my illness. I answered the questions with a 3 out of 5 on each but I wasn't really sure. For starters ... do I accept the fact that I may die at any time? I had a scheduled visit with my psychologist at the Cross Cancer and discussed this with her. I asked her, how do I make sure I am aware of the fact that I may die any time? She said something like, you are on a journey and how get to the end is up to you. Some people believe that they can beat this disease. They believe it till the minute they die ... it is called 'hope'. Statistics show that the odds are against us but if we choose to deny the facts and live full of hope, that is O.K. too because as long as we have a good quality of life during the journey, what does it really matter. Wow that was a light bulb moment.
We then discussed how when you tell someone you have stage 4 cancer that is not curable and they refuse to accept it ... how does one deal with that. Well she said that you can't make someone accept something they don't want to. There is no use beating your head against the wall trying to convince them because it won't happen. She said to let them think what they like and just know that they are not a source of support to you. She all took some of the pressure off my by saying, not everyone needs to know everything. It is O.K. to just say ... I'm doing fine.
I thoroughly enjoy visiting the psychologist because even thought I have no idea what we are going to talk about, I always end up coming out feeling better.
I spent a lot of the week thinking about dieing. It has been 8 years since I was first diagnosed and I have already spent a lot of time thinking about dieing but as this disease ... cancer .... brings you closer and closer to death, I seem to spend more and more time thinking about it.
Today is Sunday and I plan on spending time working on the course I take. It motivates me to focus on the future.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Central Venous Catheter
What is a central venous catheter?
A central venous catheter (CVC) is a narrow, hollow, silicone tube that is inserted through the skin into a vein in the neck. The tip of the catheter sits above the right upper chamber of the heart in the large vein. the outer end of the catheter is "tunneled" several centimeters under the skin and exits the skin on your chest.
The are where the CVC comes out of the skin is known as the "exit site". The part of the CVC that is outside the body may have 2 or 3 tubes or lumens that join together into one tube.
What is the purpose of the central venous catheter?
The CVC provides access to your bloodstream and can remain in place for long term use. The CVC can be used to administer chemotherapy, medications and other fluids, including blood. If necessary, the CVC can also be used to obtain blood samples.
I had a CVC inserted after my first chemo treatment because it took 5 attempts to get an IV in. My veins kept collapsing. I was apprehensive at first but the nurses encouraged me that it would be easier in the end and the maintenance is quite manageable. I have to agree on both counts.
The only issue I am having is that I am getting a bit of a rash from the dressing bandages (glue) but I think it is my own fault for not letting the area dry properly after using the chlorhexidine swabs (cleaning). The area needs to dry for at least 5 minutes before new dressing is applied. I was not doing that and got a bit of a rash or burn to the area. I've since been using different dressing and things are improving. I plan to back to the original dressing once things heal up.
A central venous catheter (CVC) is a narrow, hollow, silicone tube that is inserted through the skin into a vein in the neck. The tip of the catheter sits above the right upper chamber of the heart in the large vein. the outer end of the catheter is "tunneled" several centimeters under the skin and exits the skin on your chest.
The are where the CVC comes out of the skin is known as the "exit site". The part of the CVC that is outside the body may have 2 or 3 tubes or lumens that join together into one tube.
What is the purpose of the central venous catheter?
The CVC provides access to your bloodstream and can remain in place for long term use. The CVC can be used to administer chemotherapy, medications and other fluids, including blood. If necessary, the CVC can also be used to obtain blood samples.
I had a CVC inserted after my first chemo treatment because it took 5 attempts to get an IV in. My veins kept collapsing. I was apprehensive at first but the nurses encouraged me that it would be easier in the end and the maintenance is quite manageable. I have to agree on both counts.
The only issue I am having is that I am getting a bit of a rash from the dressing bandages (glue) but I think it is my own fault for not letting the area dry properly after using the chlorhexidine swabs (cleaning). The area needs to dry for at least 5 minutes before new dressing is applied. I was not doing that and got a bit of a rash or burn to the area. I've since been using different dressing and things are improving. I plan to back to the original dressing once things heal up.
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